did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
