Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
