mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
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