She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
