I wannas sexs uuuuu
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
