We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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