none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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