Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
