i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
