Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
