im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
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when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
COCAINE IS GR8
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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