I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
