i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
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