M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
