Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
