So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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