break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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