There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
