can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Drunk is a universal language darling
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
