I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
