just come out here and I will go home with you...
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
third nipple confirmed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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