we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
