what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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