I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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