I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
