i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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