And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Fuck me I smell like cheese
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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