i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
