It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
