What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
