i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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