no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
