Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
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