So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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