i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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