I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
