she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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