therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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