we're blogging at a bar
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Randomize
