5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
