Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
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marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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