i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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