69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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