Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize