are you so shy because you have an std?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
