on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
