well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
