I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Two words: blizzard sex
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
