I'm going to jail i love you
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
