Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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