No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
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