Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
