My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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