i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
