is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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