Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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