mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
