babies were throwing up all over the place
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
