the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
