i don't plan on having that self control this summer
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
