It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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