I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
